Taped Conversations of a Presidential Candidate

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-us-2016-37595321

I made a move on him. I’ll admit it.
I did try to fuck him, even though he had a wife.
I took him golfing - guys like that kind of shit -
So I could watch the wiggle of his ass
When he lined up to take a drive.


But now he’s totally changed his look.
Hair implants and silicone pecs
China teeth and a great big phony prick
Swinging about between his legs.
They turn me off when they’re too geared up for sex.


***


Whoa, hold up: check the bulge on that!
That is one fine piece of prime man-steak.
This woman has scored! Straight off the bat!
Pass me the Tic Tacs: I’m gonna have to kiss him
And have a little tickle of that trouser-snake.


God, it’s like an automatic attraction.
Y’know, I just can’t keep my hands away.
You can do anything. Use direct action.
Grab ‘em by the package. Do what you want.
When you’re a star, it’s your birthday every day.


***


Hey, big boy, how about a little hug for me?
That’s the way. Are you getting an erection
From the presence of my thrusting femininity?
Move closer, honey. I could grope your balls all day.
But I gotta go win this damned election.