We’re looking for a leader, since the former leader’s quit
And we really need somebody who will be a perfect fit:
A candidate who’s fully Democratic to the letter
(And if you are a Liberal than that would be even better).
Dear Applicant, please heed our firm and sensible advice:
If you’re not that tolerant, you maybe should think twice.
Our leader must be fully signed up for equality,
So if that piques your conscience, why not join the DUP?
If you’re rather troubled by what others do in bed,
They’re crying out for vicars. Why not go do that instead?
It’s really not that relevant who is and isn’t sinning.
What we need is someone with an appetite for winning.